The purpose of this lesson is to help students learn and choose strategies to manage eloping behaviors.

In a school context, eloping refers to a student leaving a designated safe area, classroom, or school building without permission or supervision. Often termed “wandering” or “bolting,” this behavior may occur to escape stress, seek sensory input, or explore, posing significant safety risks.

Note: This lesson is designed for students who are exhibiting eloping behaviors and need more individualized, intensive support. These strategies are meant to be implemented with individual students and taught by a counselor, behavior technician, or administrator. Not every strategy works for every student. It is important to have a flexible mindset and not be quick to react to a behavior unless it is a safety concern.

For additional guidance on supporting students with challenging behaviors, review the article,“Supporting Students Through Challenging Behaviors: Practical Tips for Adults” as well as the Check In, Check Out Goal handout.

eloping, regulate, reinforcement

Activity 1: (ongoing) BACKGROUND INFORMATION

Materials Needed: Eloping Intervention Planning guide

Counselor Tip: When a student is exhibiting repeated or high-risk behaviors like eloping, follow the steps from the Eloping Intervention Planning guide to support your decision-making, identify the function of the behavior, and select appropriate replacement behavior strategies.

The “Why” Behind Eloping

Eloping is not random behavior; it is a response to something the student is trying to escape from or obtain. Understanding the function of the behavior is essential before selecting interventions. In many cases, students elope to avoid or escape tasks they perceive as difficult, overwhelming, or non-preferred, and this often shows up during specific subjects, transitions, or moments of increased academic demand.

The “why” behind the behavior is also known as the “function of the behavior.”  The function of the student’s defiant behavior may include: 

• Feeling Unsafe: Some students may request breaks or seek to leave a setting because they do not feel safe. This may be related to bullying, peer conflict, or other situations that create anxiety or discomfort.
  • Look for: Patterns involving the same time of day, class, activity, location, peer group, etc.
• Escape or Avoidance: The student is attempting to avoid tasks, demands, or situations they perceive as difficult or overwhelming. This often occurs during specific subjects, transitions, or increased academic expectations.
  • Look for: Leaving during non-preferred work, transitions, or challenging tasks
• Emotional Overwhelm: The student is experiencing emotions that exceed their current coping skills, such as anxiety, frustration, or anger. Eloping may occur after visible escalation or difficulty expressing feelings.
  • Look for: Rising emotional intensity before leaving, difficulty communicating needs
• Sensory Needs: The student is seeking movement or trying to reduce sensory overload. This may occur in environments that are noisy, crowded, or require prolonged sitting.
  • Look for: Restlessness, movement-seeking, or leaving during overstimulating conditions
• Control or Autonomy: The student is attempting to regain control or independence in situations where they feel directed or restricted.
  • Look for: Eloping following directions, during transitions, or in response to adult demands

Strategies to Support Eloping Behavior

These strategies are designed to help students develop safe, effective replacement behaviors for eloping. Supports should be selected based on the identified function of behavior and taught when the student is calm. The goal is to replace aggressive responses with skills that help the student regulate emotions, communicate needs, and remain safe in the school environment.

Work with the student to select and practice 1–2 strategies that support replacement behaviors for eloping. Develop a clear plan for when and how to use them. Strategies are grouped into three sections: Regulation Supports, Task Engagement & Completion Supports, and Movement & Energy Regulation Supports.

The key terms “eloping,” “regulate,” and “reinforcement” are included on the slides and can be reviewed with students as needed.

Activity 2: (varies) REGULATION SUPPORTS 

Counselor Tip: These strategies support students who elope when emotions become too intense to manage in the moment (e.g., frustration, anxiety, anger, or overwhelm).

Option 1: (10–15 minutes) SCHEDULED BREAKS

Materials Needed: Timer (optional), Class Schedule handout (optional)

Counselor Tip: Scheduled breaks can help prevent excess energy, frustration, or overwhelm from building up and leading to eloping. These breaks are most effective when they are planned in advance, predictable, and built into the student’s daily routine when possible.

Explain to the student that everyone needs a break sometimes. Taking a planned break before emotions become too big can help them stay calm, focused, and successful in class. Scheduled breaks are different from leaving the classroom unexpectedly because they are planned, safe, and help students return ready to learn.

Ask the student to think about times during the school day when they are most likely to feel frustrated, overwhelmed, restless, or want to leave the classroom. Discuss any patterns they notice.

Review the student’s daily schedule together (Consider using the Class Schedule handout). Help them identify 1–2 times during the day when a short break might be most helpful, such as before a challenging subject, after a long period of instruction, or during a difficult transition.

Explain that breaks will be short and structured (typically 5–10 minutes) and paired with a regulated, school-appropriate activity (e.g., drawing, reading, sensory tools, or another calming option).

Practice the plan by having the student role-play taking a break and returning to regular class activities when the timer ends. (Counselor Tip: Consider using a visual timer so the student and teacher can clearly see how long the break will last and when it is time to return to work.)

Coordinate with the classroom teacher to determine when scheduled breaks can be offered and how the student will transition back to learning when the break ends.

Scheduling breaks before known challenging times (e.g., difficult subjects, transitions, long instructional periods) can significantly reduce escalation. The goal is to support regulation early so the student can remain in the learning environment.

Counselor Tip: Consistency is important. Students benefit when they know when breaks will occur, what they will do during the break, and what is expected when the break ends.

Option 2: (20 minutes) PREFERRED ACTIVITIES

Materials Needed: Preferred Activities handout

Ask the student to identify activities they enjoy at school and activities that help them feel successful. Record responses on the whiteboard.

Explain that a preferred activity is something the student can use to calm their body and support a return to learning. These activities are short, structured, and designed to help the student transition back into classwork. They act as a bridge from defiant behavior to calm, engaged participation. Pass out the Preferred Activities handout to the student.

Work together to complete the handout by identifying activities the student can use at school. Counselor Tip: Clarify the difference between school-appropriate activities (e.g., drawing) and home activities (e.g., video games).

Reinforce that preferred activities are short and designed to help the student return to learning. When the teacher signals the activity is over, the student is expected to stop and rejoin class.

Keep the Preferred Activities handout in a safe, accessible place so that the student can refer back to it as needed.

Option 3: (25 minutes) COMMUNICATE YOUR NEEDS

Materials Needed: Index card

Have a discussion with the student:

• What are some reasons students want to leave class?
• What can happen when someone leaves class without telling an adult? (EQ)
• What are safer, or more helpful ways to handle those feelings?

On the whiteboard, create two columns: “Want to Leave Because…” and “Better Choice.” Record the student’s ideas about why they might want to leave class and identify safer, more helpful ways to respond.

Emphasize that everyone has moments when they want to escape a situation. The goal is to communicate the need before leaving.

Explain that the first step in communicating needs is recognizing how you are feeling. When students can identify their emotions, they are more likely to get the support they need and make thoughtful choices. Review the definition of “regulate” from the slides and discuss how understanding emotions can help students stay in control.

Pass out the Wilcox Feelings Wheel handout to the student. Invite them to think about the last time they felt overwhelmed and wanted to bolt from the classroom. Have them look through the various emotions from the Feelings Wheel and identify what they were feeling in that moment.

Challenge the student to use the Feelings Wheel at each check-in with you, and during class time to communicate with their teacher(s). Emphasize that the best way for support staff to know how the student is feeling is to tell them.

Display the scenarios from the slides and read each one aloud. After each scenario, ask:

• How might you be feeling in that situation?
• What need might you have in that situation?
• How could you communicate your needs to an adult?

Pass out an index card. On one side, have them write emotions they often feel before wanting to leave class. On the other side, have them write phrases they can use to communicate their needs to an adult. Examples may include:

• “I’m getting frustrated, can I have help?”
• “Can I take a short break?”
• “I need a minute to calm down.”
• “Can I talk to you privately?”
• “I don’t understand this assignment.”
• “I feel overwhelmed right now.”

Have a discussion:

• How can communicating your needs help you stay in class? (EQ)
• Which phrase do you think you would use most often?
• Who are the adults you can talk to when you need support?

Activity 3: (varies) TASK ENGAGEMENT & COMPLETION SUPPORTS 

These strategies support students who elope due to difficulty engaging with or completing assigned tasks.

Option 1: (20–25 minutes) LISTEN TO MUSIC 

Materials Needed: Headphones, student device, piece of paper

Prior to this activity, check with the student’s teacher(s) to ensure this strategy can be used appropriately in the classroom. Using online playlists or music you have access to, prepare a variety of calming, school-appropriate music tracks that support focus, relaxation, and emotional regulation. Include different styles of music (e.g., instrumental, classical, nature sounds, movie soundtracks, or soft contemporary music) so the student can explore what they enjoy and identify which types of music help them feel the most calm, focused, and ready to learn. Some ideas have been included on the slides to get you started.

Draw a T-chart on the whiteboard and label the columns “Escape Behaviors” and “Healthy Coping Strategies”. Have the student answer the questions on the slides and record their responses in the corresponding columns. Have a discussion:

• How can music change your mood? (EQ)

Explain that when emotions become intense, people may feel like escaping a situation. Listening to music can be a healthy coping strategy that helps students pause, regulate their emotions, and stay positive instead of leaving the classroom.

Review the benefits of music from the slides. Explain that music gives the brain something predictable and calming to focus on, creating a pause between strong emotions and impulsive actions.

Play the music clips that you prepared in advance. Invite the student to pay attention to how each piece of music makes them feel and consider which types would work best for them in class. After each clip, have a discussion: 

• How did this music affect your mood?
• Would this music help you stay calm or focused?
• When might this type of music be helpful at school?

Pass out lined paper and a student device. Help the student create their own “Stay Present Playlist.” Using school-appropriate search tools and digital citizenship guidelines, invite the student to explore and select songs that help them feel calm, focused, and ready to learn. Encourage them to try a variety of music styles to discover which types work best for them. For each song that they choose, have them record:

• The song title
• Mood of the song
• How it helps them cope
• When they could use it instead of leaving class

If time permits, allow the student to listen to their newly created playlist using headphones. Have a discussion:

• Which music styles help you focus?
• Do you think music could help you interrupt impulsive reactions, like leaving the classroom? (EQ)
• What are other coping tools besides leaving?

Option 2: (20 minutes) SENSORY TOOLS FOR FOCUS

Materials Needed: Individually wrapped gum or mint candy, water, lined paper, index card

Prior to this activity, check with the student’s teacher(s) and school policy regarding gum and candy use to confirm what is permitted in the classroom.

Have a discussion:

• What makes it hard to stay focused in class? (EQ)
• What happens in your body when you feel overwhelmed?
• What are healthy ways people calm themselves?

Ask the student why they think some people chew gum while studying, driving, or taking tests, and what benefit it might have.

Explain to the student that chewing activates muscles and sensory pathways that can help regulate stress and attention. Mint flavor and chewing can increase alertness and help in grounding. Small sensory actions like chewing, or having a mint candy can sometimes help the brain focus enough to avoid impulsive actions, like leaving the classroom.

Emphasize that sensory tools do not fix the problem, but they can help regulate the body enough to think more clearly and respond more calmly.

If permitted, provide the student with a piece of gum or mint candy. (Counselor Tip: If not permitted, use water as an alternative sensory tool.)

While the student is using the sensory tool, guide them to notice their breathing, energy level, muscle tension, and focus. Support reflection as needed.

Pass out lined paper and invite the student to reflect on the following questions: 

• Did the sensory tool change your focus or stress level?
• When might this strategy be helpful at school?
• What situations make you want to leave class?
• What could you try before leaving instead?
• What other sensory tools help you stay calm? (Examples: water, stress ball, doodling, deep breathing, stretching, grounding exercises, headphones during independent work)

Display the scenarios from the slides. After each scenario is read, have a discussion: 

• What physical signs might appear?
• How could a sensory strategy help in this situation?
• What could someone do instead of walking out? (EQ)

Pass out an index card. On the card, invite them to copy down the following sentence and fill in the blanks.

“When I notice I am feeling ________________, I can try _______________. “

Examples of feelings they may have:

• Frustrated 
• Anxious
• Angry
• Overwhelmed

Examples of things they can try:

• Chewing gum/mint
• Drinking water
• Asking for a break
• Deep breathing
• Listening to music
• Talking to a teacher/counselor

Close by having a discussion:

• Why is it important to notice stress before it becomes too big?
• Which strategies feel realistic to use at school?
• How can small coping tools prevent bigger problems? (EQ)

Option 3: (20 minutes) HEADPHONES

Materials Needed: Puzzle or other focus-based task, noise-cancelling earbuds or headphones

Prior to this activity, check with the student’s teacher(s) to ensure headphones are an appropriate support option in the classroom as needed.

Have a discussion:

• What does eloping mean?
• Have you ever been interrupted and it upset you?
• What kinds of sounds distract you most? (EQ)

Review the term “eloping” from the slides. Explain that sometimes our brains react quickly to sounds, conversations, or movement around us.Headphones can help reduce distractions so the brain has more time to think before acting.

Discuss with the student when headphones would be appropriate in the classroom and when they are not. The goal is for the student to use the tool in a respectful way. Create a list on the whiteboard of different times the student could use headphones and have them tell you if they are appropriate times or not. For example:

• Wearing headphones while the teacher is instructing (not appropriate) 
• Wearing headphones when the class is getting too loud (appropriate)

Provide a puzzle or other task that requires the student to focus. Tell them that they have two minutes to work on the puzzle and they should remain focused. While the student is working, introduce intentional distractions (e.g., light desk tapping, casual comments like “Did you watch the game?” or “I can’t find my pencil,” and general background interruptions). After time is up, have a discussion:

• Was it difficult to focus?
• Did you feel distracted or pulled away from your work?
• Did you rush or lose focus?

Have the student work on the puzzle for two minutes again, but this time, give them a pair of headphones to wear. Use the same distractions that you used in the first round. Once the two minutes are over, have a discussion:

• Was it easier to ignore distractions? 
• Did you feel calmer?
• Did you think before reacting? 

Explain that headphones are like a pause button. When students are feeling distracted and they want to elope they can put on headphones, take three slow breaths and focus on one task at a time. While using headphones, encourage students to reflect using the following questions: 

• “What am I supposed to do right now?”
• “Do I need to react?”

Display the scenarios from the slides. For each scenario, invite the student to decide if headphones would help and what they could do before reacting. Have a discussion: 

• When might headphones help in school? (EQ)

Option 4: (15–20 minutes) TRANSITION PREVIEW

Materials Needed: Blank paper, art supplies

Explain that sometimes students feel upset when activities change—such as stopping something fun or starting something more challenging. This often happens when the brain does not have time to prepare for what is coming next.

Describe that a transition preview means knowing what is coming next ahead of time so the brain has time to prepare.When the student is prepared, they can stay calm, switch activities more easily, and avoid big reactions like leaving the classroom.

Show the student a simple visual schedule (e.g., Math → Science  → English). (Counselor Tip: Break the schedule down into even smaller steps if that would be helpful. Choose a subject and ask the student to help you come up with the different transitions for that particular subject. For example, within one subject, include group work, independent work, and exit ticket.) Ask the student what they are doing now and what comes next. Emphasize that checking the schedule helps the brain prepare for change.

Teach the student to say the transition out loud to support regulation. Model an example such as: 

• “Right now I am in Science. Next I will go to English.”

Have the student practice using the sentence frame:

• “Right now I am doing ____. Next I will ____.”

Pass out paper and art supplies and have the student begin a simple drawing activity. After a few minutes, give a transition warning:

• “You have 2 minutes before it is time to clean up.”

Ask the student to repeat the transition statement before switching tasks. After 2 minutes, prompt them to clean up and move to the next activity. When the student has transitioned, have a brief discussion:

• Did knowing what was coming next help you stay calm? (EQ)
• What did your body feel like when you got the transition warning?

Collaborate with the student’s teacher(s) to consistently use transition warnings and schedule previews throughout the school day. Encourage the student to use the transition statement to help their brain prepare for changes.

Option 5: (20 minutes) STRATEGIC SEATING LOCATION

Materials Needed: Chairs

Counselor Tip: This activity is best implemented in a classroom. If that is not possible, simulate different seating locations using multiple chairs.

Ask the student whether their seating location affects their ability to stay focused and remain in the classroom.

Have the student sit in different locations and reflect on each one. Ask questions such as, “From this seat, would it be easy or difficult to leave the room?” or “From this seat, would it be easier or harder to stay in class when you are frustrated?” Repeat with several seating options.

Explain that sitting closer to the door can make it easier to leave, while sitting farther away (e.g., front or middle of the room) can provide a pause and make it easier to stay.

Ask the student to identify a seating location that would help them stay in the classroom and continue learning, even when tasks feel difficult or frustrating. Encourage them to consider locations that are farther from the door and closer to instruction and support.

Collaborate with the teacher(s) to adjust seating if needed. When possible, offer the student a choice in seating to increase ownership and buy-in.

Activity 4: (varies) MOVEMENT & ENERGY REGULATION SUPPORTS 

Counselor Tip: These strategies support students who elope due to high energy levels, restlessness, or a strong need for movement to stay regulated and engaged in the classroom.

Option 1: (20 minutes) PREFERRED ADULT SUPPORT

Materials Needed: Index card

Explain that everyone needs support sometimes. When stress, frustration, anxiety, or conflict becomes overwhelming, it can feel easier to walk out or avoid the situation. Trusted adults can help students calm down and problem solve in a safe way. Have a discussion:

• What qualities make an adult feel “safe” or supportive?
• Why is asking for help sometimes difficult?
• How can talking to someone help before a situation escalates? (EQ)

Emphasize that supportive relationships help reduce stress. Talking or doing an activity with a trusted adult can help the brain slow down and regulate emotions. Asking for support is a coping skill, not a weakness.

On the whiteboard, invite the students to create a list of adults that they trust or feel comfortable with. For each person they list, ask them to describe what makes this person supportive and how this person helps them feel calm or safe.

Have the student identify some signs that they may need support. Ask the student something like, “What usually happens right before you feel like leaving the classroom?” Write these on the whiteboard, next to the list of adults.

Pass out an index card. On their card, invite the student to write one preferred adult and what feelings they may be experiencing where the support of a trusted adult would be helpful. Encourage them to keep the card in a safe, accessible place for reference.

Review each scenario from the slides. After each one, have a discussion: 

• What emotions might the student be feeling?
• What could happen if the student walks out of class?
• How could reaching out to a trusted adult help in this situation?

Emphasize that support does not always have to be a conversation. The student may also benefit from spending time with a trusted adult through a shared activity (e.g., helping with a task or playing a brief game), which can be a structured way to regulate and reconnect.

Counselor Tip: Consider arranging a scheduled check-in or break with the student’s preferred adult, especially during times when eloping is more likely. Once a preferred adult is identified, collaborate with them to plan consistent support times during the school day.

Option 2: (20 minutes) DECISION-MAKING

Explain to the student that everyone experiences difficult moments at school. It is normal to feel frustrated, embarrassed, angry, or overwhelmed at times. Good decision-making means pausing, thinking through choices, and selecting actions that keep themselves and others safe. Have a discussion: 

• What makes a decision “good”? (EQ)
• Who can help when school feels overwhelming?

Review the Stop→Think→Examine→Pick process from the slides. Then, display the scenarios from the slides. For each scenario, have the student:

• Identify the problem
• Give 2–3 possible choices
• Predict consequences for each choice
• Choose the best decision using “Stop→Think→Examine→Pick”
• Identify a trusted adult or support option

After reviewing all scenarios, have a discussion:

• Why is it important to think before you act?
• How can emotions affect choices?
• What is 1 strategy you can use the next time you feel overwhelmed, instead of leaving the classroom? (EQ)

On the whiteboard, write the following phrase: “One good decision I can make when I feel stressed is…” As an exit ticket for the activity, ask for the student to complete the sentence. 

Option 3: (20 minutes) POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT

Review the definition of the term “reinforcement” from the slides. Explain that reinforcement is what happens after a choice and helps show the student whether their choice led to a helpful or unhelpful outcome. Share a couple examples of positive and negative outcomes from the slides. Emphasize that the choices we make help determine what happens next.

Ask the student what are things in their class that feel like rewards or are examples of good outcomes. Record their ideas on the whiteboard (e.g., free time, food items, positive notes home, helping the teacher, sitting with a friend, feeling proud).

Have the student review the list on the whiteboard and identify which reinforcements are most meaningful to them. Circle their top 3–5 choices.

Review the scenarios and choices from the slides. Discuss how each choice leads to different outcomes and forms of reinforcement:

• Which choices led to outcomes you wanted?
• Which choices made the situation more difficult or created unwanted consequences?
• How might the outcome of each choice affect what happens next?

Revisit the term “eloping” from the slides. Eloping may feel like control in the moment, but it often gets in the way of the outcomes the student actually wants. Explain that reinforcement works because it helps the brain connect choices to outcomes.

Have a discussion:

• Why do teachers give positive rewards or feedback?
• When are you most likely to choose to leave the classroom? What could help you in that moment? (EQ)
• Is it easier to get what you want through cooperation or eloping from the classroom? Why?

Activity 5: (ongoing) ONGOING SUPPORT & PROGRESS MONITORING

Materials Needed: Check In, Check Out Goal handout

After meeting with the student and selecting 1–2 strategies to implement, schedule a meeting with the student’s teacher(s). Share key information from your discussion, including the student’s reason(s) for engaging in the behavior and the strategies they have chosen to practice. Collaborate with the teacher(s) to develop a plan for supporting and reinforcing these strategies throughout the school day.

Counselor Tip: Challenging behaviors can be difficult and frustrating for teachers to manage. Take time to acknowledge the efforts they have already made to support the student and recognize what is working well.

Ensure that other relevant support staff and the student’s caregivers are informed of the selected strategies and any intervention plans so the student receives consistent support across settings.

Monitor progress through regular check-ins using the Check In, Check Out Goal handout 2–3 times a day (beginning, middle, end), for a period of 2 weeks. Use this time to reinforce progress, problem-solve challenges, and adjust strategies as needed.