The purpose of this lesson is for educators to come to understand that grief is a part of life and is an individual process. Educators will review information about grief and the grieving process, reflect on professional grief, compile a list of helpful strategies, honor a loved one that they have lost, discuss top tips for helping others through grief, and design a customized school support plan for those coping with loss.
According to the American Psychological Association, grief is defined as “the anguish experienced after significant loss, usually the death of a loved one. Grief often includes physiological distress, separation anxiety, confusion, yearning, obsessive dwelling on the past, and apprehension about the future. Intense grief can become life-threatening through disruption of the immune system, self-neglect, and suicidal thoughts. Grief may also take the form of regret for something lost, remorse for something done, or sorrow for a mishap to oneself.”
Everyone experiences grief differently and it can vary greatly depending on individual circumstances. Grief is a normal and necessary stage that must be experienced in order to heal from the loss. It clearly affects all areas of well-being and priorities might, understandably, be reorganized during periods of grief. This may temporarily affect professional performance. It is important to exercise patience and self-compassion while still striving to maintain self-care, social support systems, and individual healing.
It can be hard to know how to help others experiencing grief, especially in a professional capacity. According to experts at Harvard Medical School, “If it seems that nothing you can do or say helps, don’t give up. You can’t take the pain away, but your presence is more important than it seems. Accept that you can’t fix the situation or make your friend or relative feel better. Instead just be present and offer hope and a positive outlook toward the future. Recognize that grief is a gradual process.” In addition to offering support on a personal level, educators can offer support by temporarily picking up some responsibilities to alleviate pressure for their grieving coworkers.
Activity 1: (30 minutes) WHAT IS GRIEF?
Post the 6 statements on the board and have teachers consider whether each is true or false:
Watch the video “Coping with Grief,” by Watch Well Cast. As teachers watch, have them look for evidence that supports or conflicts with their opinions about the previous statements. Following the video, have a brief discussion about each statement and decide, as a group, which are true and false.
Explain that teachers will be creating a set of memes to represent the stages of grief. Show the example using images of margarine on the slides. Pass out the article “Grief and Loss” and have teachers read through the “Stages of Grief” section in groups of 3–5, then share their insights and examples of how to show up for loved ones in that stage of grief. Have each group share with the larger group.
Read the additional quotes from the slides and discuss each associated question. This can be done either within small groups or as a whole group.
Activity 2: (20 minutes) GRIEF AS AN EDUCATOR
Ask teachers to quietly reflect on sources of grief associated with education. Pass out a blank sheet of paper to each teacher and ask them to write down one idea that comes to mind. Then, have teachers crumple up their papers and (gently) toss them towards the front of the room. Collect all the “snowballs” and unwrap them, reading each response. Ask teachers to silently stand or raise their hand, whatever feels appropriate, if they can relate to the idea read aloud.
Read the quotes by educator and author Kelly Treleaven from the slides. Have a discussion:
Activity 3: (20 minutes) COPING WITH GRIEF
As a whole group, create a list on the whiteboard of strategies that teachers have found useful when dealing with grief. Then, refer back to the article “Grief and Loss” and have teachers skim through the section “Tips for Enduring Personal Loss,” and point out additional strategies that they find. Add these to the whiteboard.
Prior to watching the following video, explain that Nora McInerny, writer and podcaster, lost a pregnancy, her father, and her husband, Aaron, all within a few short months. Since then, she has sought to research and develop content to help those dealing with grief.
Watch the video “‘Advice’ For the Freshly Grieving,” by Nora McInerny from (2:38–8:18). As teachers watch, they can listen for additional tips or strategies that she suggests and add them to the list as a whole group. Have a discussion:
Activity 4: (20 minutes) HONORING LOVED ONES
One way we can deal with grief is by remembering and honoring those we have lost. Ask teachers to consider a loved one they have felt grief over and create a poem, a piece of art, or write down a story they remember about them. Then, have a gallery walk where teachers can display their art, poem, or story if they feel comfortable.
Activity 5: (20 minutes) SUPPORTING OTHERS
Pass out the Supporting Those Who Are Coping With Grief handout to each teacher. Invite educators to take notes on things that they can do or say to support those dealing with grief, in addition to things that they should avoid doing or saying. They can fill in ideas that they have gathered from the previous activities and continue to add to their lists for the remainder of the lesson.
Watch the video “How to Support Someone Grieving from a Grief Expert,” by Dr. Ajita Robinson at Headspace, from 0:40-5:46.
Then read through the list of tips on the slides from Harvard Medical School. Have a discussion about the 8 tips:
If time permits, invite teachers to complete a journal reflection on how they would personally help someone who was coping with grief.
Activity 6: (20 minutes) SCHOOL SUPPORT PLAN
Begin by asking teachers to consider a time when they have received help from their coworkers/school/etc. in a time of need. Have a few teachers share their experiences.
Work together as a faculty to come up with a school-wide plan for how to support coworkers who are dealing with grief. This could look like starting a “Sunshine Fund” to draw from to send flowers when the need arises, designating an individual as the one to start passing a card around for others to sign, or a plan for temporarily delegating their responsibilities. Divide into small groups to brainstorm and then come back together to create a combined school-wide plan.
Extension: Individual teams can also create a customized plan that includes more specifics about how they would work together to divide up responsibilities and provide more long-term support.
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